Memories ...

What is the most memorable day of your life? If you could name that one day that stands out for you, what would it be? (I asked this in worship yesterday and if you are so inclined to share with me, please post a comment as I am interested in knowing). The big moments in life are typically what people lift up. Weddings, births of children, graduations, first loves, baptisms. But consider each of these memories?

+The wedding day is usually the most stressful day of a bride's life.

+The birth of a child is painful for the woman to endure physically and equally hard emotionally for the man watching his mate endure misery; yet also the fear associated with being a first time parent.

+First loves usually aren't your only love and the first love also leads to a first break-up.

+Baptisms are not typically something we can recall (if we were baptized as infants).

Yet we cling to these days because thy meant a turning point in our lives. The memory of each of these events is shaped by the meaning each of these days hold. If you were to ask me that question, I might say one of those above. But, I mean really, my only wedding day memory as a 20 year old groom was thinking about Lou the maintenance man who told me I wouldn't remember anything (he was right). The birth of my first child featured the rush of a dash across the state and absolute fear of changing diapers. My first love, well that's another story. And my baptism happened when I was an infant.

But interesting how when I really reflect upon that question and what would be the most memorable day ... it is tied to the many experiences where I was serving, loving, and giving of myself in ways God has directed. My most clear memory is the day I heard my call to ministry, I can describe that moment with ease. And then there are many portraits in my mind of stories from those in poverty or in need and I was asked to be a part of something bigger than myself.

Reality is, while we may not remember when we were baptized, we do remember that we are baptized. And if we were to consider all the ways God has moved us or challenged us to move, we can see how we rose to the occasion and made memories. It is when we give of ourselves to others that we find meaning and purpose. So perhaps that was in your wedding day, or when you held your child, or when you learned to give of yourself to God or as a parent. Keep living and seeking greater things that are beyond you ... make memories and don't regret not living this life that God has given.

How Is That Resolution?

A survey last year of 300,000 people determined these as the most popular New Year’s resolutions.

#1 – weight loss or getting in shape

#2 - resolving to stick to a personal budget

#3 - debt reduction

#4 - finding a spouse

#5 – quit smoking.

That being said consider that further research suggests that 45% of adults make one or more resolutions a year. Of that number, 75% of you make it past the first week, not bad. 64% of you make it past the first month, again – not bad! 46% of you will make it the first half of the year. That’s less than half. Less than half of us are able to obtain the goal we have set for a year.

Does that reflect a lack of discipline on our part? Perhaps not. I think for us, it is a lack of focus and where we are investing ourselves and our faith in that resolution. If we go back and look at that list of top resolutions made, what is the common thread through those resolutions? They are all about personal transformation, indeed, but it ends there. Emphasizing the personal part of that transformation, what impact do any of these have on those around you? So what, you lose weight, you’re less of a person than you were before. (At least that’s just my excuse) Sticking to a budget or debt reduction, unless of course it includes a plan to give away more of your resources, it is about you.

Our culture is talking about resolutions or New Year’s goals to address problems we that see in our own lives whether we are looking in the mirror or at the check book or when we are sitting at home alone or when we sit at our desk, wondering if there is anything else in life. And don’t get me wrong, these are all great goals for us – but I wonder if our resolutions success rate suffers because we are only letting ourselves down if we give up. We’re willing to give up because it only affects us. So you don’t lose that weight, will your spouse or partner still love you? I hope so. If you don’t learn that new hobby, will your boss or supervisor have to let you go? We don’t mind letting ourselves down.

But when there is a question of accountability, there seems to be more motivation. When I had a buddy to ride bikes with or meet at the YMCA, I had my best run at losing weight and getting healthy. It's not that we are failures on our own, but the gift of accountability not only gives of motivation ... but also encouragement. When we think about Christian community, when we think about the faith communities we are involved in is accountability a part of that? Not talking about judging others or pointing out their sins (I have plenty of people who like to point out I eat too much salt), but I am talking about encouragement. When as the last time you gave words of encouragement and support to someone else who is walking along the journey with you?

This is a good challenge for each of us this year. In these first 8 days of 2009 I have heard some very difficult stories from people who are facing significant challenges. Can I be a voice of support and a companion on the journey to them? Can you? Can we see that this is not a competition or a race or can we put our critical comments and negativity aside for what is positive? Can we with one another? Can we with our kids?

Now that's a resolution ...

New Blog

I am sorry for my blogging absence. Combination of Christmas as a pastor and the need for a little rest pulled me away. This blog will once again be updated a few times a week and hope to continue to be a source of devotion and renew our dialogue.

Christmas 1979/Christmas 2008

On Christmas Eve, I shared this story at the fusion Christmas Eve Service:

It was our first Christmas in our new house on McMasters Avenue in Galesburg, Illinois… Christmas 1979. A family of six, we moved around the block that year so that my fourteen year old brother didn’t have to share a room with his 12 and 4 year old little brothers. With my father’s recent raise and promotion, it was my parent’s first purchase of a home after seventeen years of marriage.

My father was in the grocery business. It was the only thing he had known, starting as a bagger at the age of 15. And now twenty years later, Dad was a local store manager for a fast growing chain of stores. But the one thing about his new position was that it meant more hours … many, many more hours. My father had always worked hard, but the added responsibility and his drive for perfection meant long days. And that first Christmas on McMasters, well I think you know that working retail this time of year drives you to work like no other. And at age four and pretty much every year thereafter, we knew that Dad would go in at 5:00AM and then be home about 5:00PM eat dinner and then off to bed, unless it was Christmas week in which he would then work till about 7:00PM and come home to go to bed very quickly. So you can imagine how well I knew my father.

It was Christmas Eve night, 1979, … a night much like tonight, we made our way to Candlelight services at Galesburg First United Methodist Church and back home to where I quickly went to bed in anticipation for that great morning of presents and stockings and breakfast … you know whether I was four or even now at 33 … the anticipation of Christmas day means that I toss and turn all night on Christmas Eve. And like any other year I tossed and turned all night. I am sure I got up and checked the tree and my stocking a half dozen times that night.

It was perhaps 4:00AM … I had finally fallen into a deep sleep when I heard a voice in the dining room. “Ho,ho,ho, Merry Christmas. This is Santa I hope you have a great day.”
I couldn’t believe it. This couldn’t be real.

Then it happened again: “Ho,ho,ho, Merry Christmas. This is Santa I hope you have a great day.”
I climbed out of bed and snuck down the hallway, hoping to catch a peek at this voice and catch a glimpse of the one they call St. Nick. As I peered around my bedroom doorway, I could see that indeed Santa had made it as the presents under the tree were all the evidence I needed. But again, that voice came again as I was still en route: “Ho,ho,ho, Merry Christmas. This is Santa I hope you have a great day.”

As I made my way to the end of the hallway and into the dining room, there sat my father at the table. Cup of coffee in hand, dressed in his nightshirt, phone in one hand, telephone book in his other. I watched him dial a number, wait for an answer, and then say: “Ho,ho,ho, Merry Christmas. This is Santa I hope you have a great day.” He had a huge smile on his face and a big round belly, that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. For the man that I hardly saw laugh or smile … let alone be at home, the man whose employees were intimidated by him because of his work ethic and perfection, spent that Christmas morning 1979, calling all of his employees at 4:00AM, wishing them a Merry Christmas.

From Christmas 1979 and on our dad carried on that tradition … even last year … Christmas 2007, my phone rang and I knew whose voice would be on the other end of the line. For those of you who have been here before on Christmas eve, you know important this relationship has meant to me, especially this time of year. But something will be missing this year. My phone or my siblings’ phone will not be ringing this year, nor the phones of my father’s former employees. As my father, who was at his best on Christmas passed away earlier this year, so there is a bit of apprehension as tonight unfolds and tomorrow arrives.

Reflection:
Christmas 2008, after the 11:00PM service, I loaded up the kids and drove over to Galesburg to be there with my mom on Christmas morning. Arriving at 2:30AM and getting the kids to sleep, I finally laid my head down about 3:00AM. An hour later, my cell phone started to ring. I got three calls that morning all with that familiar phrase: “Ho,ho,ho, Merry Christmas. This is Santa I hope you have a great day.” Two of the voiced I knew as they were my good friends and father figures. But there was one call I did not know. That call came at 4:02AM and the caller ID read, “Private Number.” I don’t have any idea who it was, but I know what my imagination has told me since that Christmas morning.

The Word on the Street

It has been awhile since there has been a posting. It is not that I am out of thoughts, just been out of time. It's not that I haven't been reflecting, it's just that we have focused many hours on the Sunday production, "The Word on the Street." With the help of a fantastic drama team, many talented musicians and singers, and the children of Faith, we were able to recreate the story of Joseph and Mary.

It is a story we know very little about. The Bible tells us of angel appearances and dreams and we get a glimpse of their struggles with the message delivered to them and the eventual faith they embraced in the plan set forth. But their courtship we piece together through historical and cultural reconstruction. Their journey together, we assume, was more than a trek on a donkey to Bethlehem. While Mary emerges throughout the story of Jesus and has become a centerpiece in some faith traditions, Joseph seems to disappear. We hear of his seeking out his son Jesus, only to find him in the temple teaching at a young age. Yet other than that we hear nothing else.

Historians have rationalized that he was much older than Mary and most likely died before Jesus came of age. Some Biblical scholarship has explained the de-emphasis of Joseph's role and the emphasis of Mary's role as a way of informing a male dominated culture of the importance of the role of women in God's kingdom. We all can affirm the many theories.

Yet, I find Joseph to be a valuable missing part of the Christmas story. His response of faith gave validity to an unwed, pregnant Mary. His ancestry connected Jesus to a deeper story of Old Testament prophesy. His love delivered Mary and the baby to security in a highly charged political climate and a threatened Herod. Perhaps his story is important today to a number of men who are absent from their children's lives due to demanding jobs and busy schedules. Perhaps his story of faith is and important message today to a number of men who have not made practicing their faith a priority or living that faith example for their children (many men see the faith development as the woman's role). Perhaps his missing part of the story is the missing part of our story.