Center of Our Thoughts

I was talking with a friend recently who was experiencing a significant loss in life and forced to consider an alternative route through life. We all know something about loss in our lives as death, broken relationships, or job loss have put a hole in our lives and leaving us with feelings of anger, emptiness, or maybe even a sense of hopelessness. That hole can be pretty big and seem to remain for some time. I feel it with my father here 31/2 months after his death. We had a family reunion for my mom's side over last weekend and yet, where was my dad? We may feel these effects of loss for sometime because of the many emotions that come from these experiences. Job loss leaves us feeling low in self-confidence. Relationship loss leaves us feeling unworthy. Financial loss leaves us feeling like there is no where to turn.

With that hole in front of us it is easy to allow life to be about that hole and allow that hole to be the center of our thoughts. Problem is, when we do that then life becomes about what we do not have as opposed to what we do have. When we give that time and energy that allows these situations to be the center of our thoughts, then we are giving up the control of our lives to the uncontrollable measure of the past.

The Psalmist hits on these feelings of loss time and time again. In particular, Psalm 139 seems to stand out this morning as I consider my friend and those others who are really seeking something to hold on to.
"If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (Psalm 139:11-14)

So we press on in life. Though there is not a lot that we can control when life hits, we can control where we turn and where the center of our thoughts are. Because God has given us a community to find strength in, a faith to live in, a home to strive for, a hope to make the hole whole again.

When I Grow Up...

There were a lot of things I wanted to be when I grew up. I asked my boys what they wanted to do when they grew up, Andrew had no clue and Jacob insisted he wanted to be a track star. I have my ideas of what I would like to see them become. As I watch them now, I see certain gifts and abilities that reveal certain possibilities in the future. I still have aspirations of having a professional athlete in the family and, of course, it would brighten my heart to have one of my sons follow in my footsteps as a pastor (do I really wish that on them?).

But really is that fair? I have seen parents live their lives through their children. I have watched adults put an end to the dreams of children because the dreams are not in line with what the adults desire. I have watched coaches ride their players so hard, that the young player loses a passion for the sport because it is no longer about them and their dream, but about what the coach wants. Though I say I have witnessed this, I am probably guilty as well.

Reality is our children's creativity, innocence, potential, and success as adults really depends on environment and how are we allowing them to become the person God created them to be. In reference to the emergence of Jeremiah as a prophet, Jeremiah 1:5 begins, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." This is not a bid for predestination, but it is, perhaps, indicative of how God plants in us certain passions, interests, and gifts that are developed as we grow.

Did I have an environment that pushed me to be a pastor? Not at all and if you know the Shumaker family, nobody saw this coming. But there was an environment open enough to allow me to be and live out my passions and interests. Am I providing that in my house? I would love to be the parent of a professional athlete, but again whose dream is that?

Ball and Chain (not what you think)

As I was cruising down the road the other day in my "soccer-mom-minivan" (with a great new dent on the hood) a song came up on my XM radio that I have not heard in years. When I say years, I mean since probably 1991/1992 when I was in high school and my brother (who had moved back in with my parents) would listen to it. The song was Ball and Chain by Social Distortion, an old punk band from the 1980's. Thanks to my brother who listened to a wide selection of music and inspired me to as well.

My brother was/is a wonderful man who has been shaped by some hard life experiences. The character and integrity he exhibits today, I believe, stems from his parents but also the situations he has lived through. Though the punk music stage was one of the rebellions against our parents, I think this song at that time in his life took on a lot of meaning.

As I re-read the lyrics (which include a reference to pray in the Chevrolet, lol) the lyrics are a prayer. The chorus is a plea to take away, take away this ball and chain. The second verse reads:
Well I've searched and I've searched
To find the perfect life-
A brand new car and a brand new suit
I even got me a little wife-
But wherever I have gone I was sure to find myself there-
You can run all your life
But not go anywhere

It's not a reference to his relationship or spouse, but it is a reference to an internal struggle that keeps us from the life of freedom that we see out there but can't seem to grasp.

Interestingly enough, the lyrics in many songs are more spiritual than some of the songs on Christian labels. Though parents and some church folk has tried to condemn some secular music from their houses, many songs are written out of the human experience in search of something deeper. There is an element of hope in all of our experiences and some of our richest encounters of hope are found not in the words of a preacher ... but in the human life in its most natural state.

Yet for my brother, his journey went from Christian camp leader to rebellious faith doubter to worship leader. Amazing how God works!

Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones will break our bones, but words will even cut deep into our hearts. I know that's not how the saying goes, but it is probably more true than the traditional anecdote. The Psalmist reminds us in Psalm 64 that our tongues can be like swords and we can aim cruel words like deadly arrows. Words can and will hurt. I don’t think we need to ask Don Imus about that, but my guess is that each one of us can identify with brokenness in our lives, where our words or the words of another were like arrows that pierced deep into our souls.

Psychologists and therapists will tell you to never give somebody else the power to hurt you. And if each of us could adapt that into our lives, no doubt we would be healthier people. Yet, consider the power of spoken or written word. We know that words can give life. Genesis 1 tells us that at the beginning of time, God spoke and there was light. God spoke and there was life. God spoke and all of the cosmos and all of creation were set into motion. Also, consider what do words of encouragement do for us. But also consider what words of criticism can do, what words of gossip can do, what words of hate can do, what words of deception can lead to. Just as words can give life, words can destroy life and take away our very souls. There is power in our words.

Paul suggests in Ephesians 4:29, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Do we think that through with everything that comes out of our mouths? In our personal relationships, do we give thought to how are words impact those who mean so much to us?

For God created everything and said, "it was good." Are we that positive with our words?

Let's Pray

God the cosmic bellhop. The most common image of God when we go to prayer. It makes me laugh to imagine God (as the bearded old man from my parents nativity scene who was really a wiseman ... that's my image of God) pushing around my luggage cart saying, "Yes, Rev. Shumaker, I will take care of it." For every prayer I lift up, expecting God to deliver and I may tip God with my words of thanksgiving if I am mindful.

In a recent study I led, it was pointed out that maybe we are missing the point on prayer. We are invited to cry out to God, thank God, praise God, be natural in our prayers, but maybe the point of prayer is not to change God's mind or move God to action. Perhaps the point of prayer is to change our mind and to change our perspective ad move us to action. (Maybe a sermon coming!)

Jacob (from the Genesis story) drastically had his life set on a different course after wrestling with God. Jesus (I think you have heard of him) prayed on the night of his betrayal asking God to "take this cup from him." Yet Jesus would conclude his prayer, "yet not my will, but yours be done." In our prayers, are we willing to talk it through with God in ways that seek understanding and surrender ourselves to God's leading? We pray that in the Lord's prayer: "Thy kingdom come, THY WILL BE DONE ..."

Do we pray to change God, or to change us?