Anybody remember Charles Barkley making that statement on a Nike commercial in the early 90's? Well, if you need to jog your memory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8vh2MwXZ6o. Charles was/is an interesting character who could shoot off his mouth at any moment without any apology. Basketball skills aside, he was in the eyes of many children through his career. A member of the 1992 Olympic basketball "Dream Team," I remember being a big fan of his as I grew up in the 1990's because he based his game on rebounding and defense. I wanted to emulate that. And even watching this commercial for the first time as a teen, I remember thinking how profound he was.
Now years later as a parent, maybe he is not as profound as I once thought. My older son has a new fondness for the Cubs rightfielder Milton Bradley. Indeed it is hard to be a fan of a guy hitting just above .200 and who can't count to three in order to keep track of the number of outs. However, Andrew is a fan because Milton Bradley likes to argue with the umpire. In fact, this came to be evident in his eyes three weeks ago when I had to have a friendly "discussion" with the umpire in our little league game. Oddly enough it was on the last play of the game and our discussion brought us a victory. As the game ended, I hear my son proclaim, "my dad is the best coach because he argues with the ump." Is that a normal boy or a strong-willed young man who likes to fight authority. Can that be asked of the Charles Barkleys and Milton Bradleys of this world?
I do want to point out that Charles Barkley and the other athletes are role models for our children in that they make a lot of money off the jersey and shoe sales and those typically are not adults sporting those, but children. Charles, as long as you draw a paycheck from Nike, you are a role model. Indeed as parents and people who are in our childrens' eyes we are thrust into positions as role models whether we choose to accept that or not. But I guess what I want to suggest also is that being a role model is not just about a life of perfection.
When I was a youth minister in Clinton, a good friend used to jokingly tell his kids when I was being immature to not listen to Brad because "he is not a good role model." Well years later I still correspond with him and his adult children because the role model aspect goes beyond the moment of an event but into how a life is lived. I want my son to also see how I had a long and kind conversation with th umpire. I want my children to see when a fallen athlete asks for forgiveness and turns his life around.
I mean really, how often do we withhold judgement in order to give someone the opportunity to do the right thing? That is one of the beautiful things about Jesus in his preaching on forgiveness is that he taught us about offering us and offering others, the opportunity to make the right choice. It is in those moments of redemption that not only do we experience true life, but we are role modeling for our kids that through adversity and failure there is hope.
If we expect a role model to be perfect and our children ,thereafter, to be perfect, then what will happen the first time our kid's fail to meet our expectations?
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